Valentine’s Day is a busy time for lovebirds, wedding-planners, and (most recently) cruise lines. Stretching their flags of convenience to the maximum, popular brands like Cunard, Celebrity, and Carnival were finally able to offer onboard weddings to those lured by the romantic tradition of matrimony on the ocean waves. This “tradition”, however, is among the most widely spread urban myths. And who can blame us for believing it – after all, no one carries an aura of solemnity quite like a stern-faced captain, standing at the end of the aisle in his immaculate naval uniform.

Experts argue about the origin of this fancy misconception, with Hollywood being the most likely culprit. As with many other tall tales, the film industry has consistently suggested to its gullible audience (me included) that, since times unremembered, captains have been officiating the union of countless couples. The myth is so deeply ingrained in popular culture that people nowadays see weddings as a default responsibility of a sea master.

Multiple legal and cultural factors, however, have prevented captains from performing this function over the centuries. To begin with, many societies discouraged female presence on board ships to omit distractions to the crew, avoid exposing women to the hardships of ocean voyages, or simply out of prejudice and superstition. The law was another major barrier, as international maritime regulations have always been a grey spot on the legal map. Most jurisdictions in the past deemed a wedding in international waters as null and void, questioning the legitimacy of descendants and their inheritance rights. A third obstacle stemmed from the historic function and image of naval officers – a captain was the source of severe discipline, demanding unconditional respect and subordination, incompatible with matters of the heart.

But weddings at sea are now a fact and will continue to attract travelers, romantics, and ship-enthusiasts alike. For all of you lucky brides and grooms, who will say “I do” in the middle of the ocean, here are a few tips for an unforgettable wedding day.

Is it right for you?

A marriage at sea might be your dream, but the open ocean is not everyone’s cup of tea. Some people get travel sickness from the slightest movement, while others may experience claustrophobia in the limited space on a passenger ship. Ensuring in advance that your important guests would feel comfortable with your choice of venue could reduce the risk of people declining your invitation or, even worse, stressful episodes out at sea.

Then there is you – would you enjoy being surrounded by friends and family on a week-long voyage? Many do, but some couples prefer to spend the days after their wedding in relaxation and romantic seclusion. In the latter case, a wedding at the port of departure might be a better option.

Red Tape Gets No Blue Ribband

Nuptials at sea add a layer of legal complexity, so preparations should begin a year in advance. The first step, even before contacting a cruise line, is to consult an expert in your own country. Whether the marriage certificate complies with your local legislation, or if any further steps are required, or if your Caribbean papers are official proof of inheritance rights – these are all up to you to sort out. Shipping lines can only ensure compliance on their side of the process and cannot be held responsible beyond that. Bermudan law, for example, may require translated and legalized documents about previous marriages as early as three months before embarkation. The situation gets even more complicated for US-couples, since every state has its own rules.

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Ceremony Location

In-port ceremonies are cost-efficient and easier to organize for larger parties, not to mention the lack of rolling and pitching, which may otherwise discourage some guests. A wedding on the open seas, on the other hand, adds an element of thrill and adventure to the event.

Logistics

There is no overstating the importance of early planning here, even for the smallest ceremony, as guests would need a few months’ notice to select and book their preferred cabin-class at reasonable rates. And speaking of accommodation, while cruise lines have generous luggage allowances, the average cabin has limited storage space, which fills up fast with all the bits and bobs of a wedding. My rule of thumb is to put together your ideal packing list and reduce it by a third.

Cost

Although cruises offer amazing value, attending a ceremony at sea is a costly pleasure for your guests, so negotiating a package deal or discounted rates with the cruise line would be appreciated by all. And if you still fear that the price tag would scare off too many friends, then an in-port ceremony could be the perfect compromise.

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